Where's the Lunch?
How 2+2 came to equal 5

The following is the transcript of an actual online conversation held by the brothers Fugal one day at BYU. To give a little background, this was during the month-long presidential election of 2000, and we had been discussing the merits of alternative voting systems such as Approval Voting, where one may cast an approval vote for each candidate or option that he finds acceptable. There are other references to inside jokes that I don't want to explain (and you don't want to hear them). In those instances, just laugh because they're funny. I promise.
You have just entered room "fugls."
joefugl: where's food?
LukFugl: who didn't put the lunch in the car?
fuglv: Who wants to go to the car and see if it's there?
joefugl: not i
joefugl: von does
fugl77: a moment of silence
LukFugl: von does
fuglv: I have to be in english in 15 mins.
joefugl: von does
joefugl: von does
LukFugl: I'm at work
joefugl: von does
fuglv: stop copying and pasting, russel.
joefugl: I'm not
joefugl: I'm not
fuglv: russel does.
joefugl: Von does
fuglv: russel does.
fuglv: russel does.
fuglv: russel does.
fuglv: russel does.
fuglv: russel does.
fuglv: russel does.
fuglv: russel does.
fuglv: russel does.
joefugl: how about we have an approval vote?
fugl77: agreed
fugl77: I approve someone put it in the car
fuglv: You can't approve me, cause I can't
LukFugl: yes
fuglv: yes
fugl77: all that approve that the lunch is in the car say aye
LukFugl: aye
fuglv: aye
fugl77: aye
fugl77: the ayes have it, the lunch must be in the car
joefugl: aye
LukFugl: who's going to get it?
fugl77: all that approve the lunch is in the locker say aya
LukFugl: aya
fuglv: aya
joefugl: nay
fugl77: nay
LukFugl: the aya's have it
fugl77: 'tis a tie
joefugl: i am an eye witness
fuglv: nay
LukFugl: eye witnesses don't count
fugl77: I'm an aya witness
LukFugl: just votes
fuglv: let's recount.
joefugl: von revoted
fugl77: the ballot was confusing
joefugl: revote
LukFugl: all in favor of 2 + 2 = 5 (math would be much easier)
LukFugl: aye
fugl77: aye
joefugl: aye
fuglv: aye
LukFugl: see what I mean
fugl77: great, only 2.5 billion more votes to go before it's true
LukFugl: from now on, 2 + 2 is 5
fugl77: hooray
joefugl: so me, von, and hans and jacob make five of us?
fugl77: I'll be happy to go down and get the lunch if anyone's sure it's
fugl77: wait, that complicates the lunch situatio
fugl77: n
fugl77: I didn't make enough for 5 people
fugl77: o wait, yes we did. :-)
joefugl: i get two
fuglv: thanks to jacob there are extra beans!
fugl77: I get two too - two plus two is five, so there's extra
joefugl: yeah
fugl77: all we have to do is split the lunch into quarters and add
joefugl: i think it's in the car
joefugl: but i know i didn't put it in
LukFugl: yeah!
fuglv: but if you divide it by two twice, you get fifths.
LukFugl: do!
fugl77: so we need to vote on what two fifths plus two fifths is?
joefugl: sorry, I'm confused
fuglv: that's simple, it's one!
LukFugl: von's right
fugl77: oh yeah
fuglv: 2+2/5 = 5/5
joefugl: yeah
LukFugl: but - if we divide it in half 5 times
LukFugl: then there are tenths
joefugl: we get...I'm confused
fugl77: 2+2/5 = 10/5 + 2/5 = 12/5 is the same as (2 + 2 + 2 + 2 + 2 + 2) /
fugl77: = 15 / 5 = 3
joefugl: if we break it enough can we feed 5000?
LukFugl: so if we divide it in half twice, then add them back together, it's three times as much?
fugl77: I always wondered how that happened
joefugl: :-)
fuglv: I have to go now.
fuglv has left the room.
fugl77: go pues
LukFugl: did he go for the lunch?
joefugl: so if 8=(2+2)+(2+2), does 8=10? 
LukFugl: so now hom many of us are there?
LukFugl: russel - yes
joefugl: there is now (2+2)-1=5-1=4 of us
LukFugl: the only way to get four of something is to 2 + 2 then take one
LukFugl: because if Von had never been here, we'd be three, but now we're
LukFugl: you know what - we haven't defined what 2 * 2 should be
fugl77: 12
fugl77: I like 12
LukFugl: that's too big
LukFugl: 3?
fugl77: 3 is good to
fugl77: o
LukFugl: 3 then
fugl77: it's obvious from text books and scribbles on the underside of placemats at pizza hut that 2+2 == 2*2
joefugl: or there might be (2+2)+(2+2)+(2+2)+(2+2)+(2+2)+(2+2)-21=5+5+5+5+5+5-21=30-21=9 of us
fugl77 has left the room.
fugl77 has entered the room.
LukFugl: so 5/3 = (2 + 2) / 2 * 2 = 2 * (1 + 1) / 2 * 2 = (1 + 1) / 2 = 1
joefugl: Hans, now there's only three of us
LukFugl: new mathematical identities!
LukFugl: 5/3 = 1!
LukFugl: so, if you times anything by 5/3, it's the same as timesing it by 1, and there are no mathematical repercussions
LukFugl: you can say (mathematically) it's the same thing, but there
LukFugl: 's almost twice as much!
LukFugl: do it repeatedly, and you'll have lots!
LukFugl: It's almost better than compound interest
fugl77: lots of the same thing
fugl77: it's better than imaginary numbers!